Singaporean kids overprotected?

STOMP_Team · #1 12-07-2006, 04:30 PM

John Spencer Tan wrote to us at 75557@stomp.com.sg:

Quote:

What is it with parents these days? This picture shows a portion of the congested road at Marine Terrace at the bus-stop beside Ngee Ann Primary School. These cars are queuing to drive drop off their children either A) inside the school B) at the residential car park with sheltered walkways leading to the school. A few drops of water won't kill their precious babies. I guess they forgot that umbrellas were invented for the purpose of keeping the rain out. The congestion went all the way back to the main road, and I had to wait another 20 minutes for my SBS bus to make its way in.

This is a Prefect from CHIJ Katong Convent - she and a few other Prefects were sheltering the younger children that did not have umbrellas on hand to the neighboring primary school. Kudos to CHIJ Katong Convent for teaching their students well!

Are Singaporean kids generally overprotected? When does kindness cross over to become overprotection?

seantzw · #2 12-07-2006, 06:34 PM

Yes. Singaproean kids are generally overprotected. they have everything they want and need and their parents give in to them willingly without much of a fight.

what parents need to realise is that shielding their children from every single physical/mental harm or danger whether real or imagined isn't going to do them any good. how do you teach them independence then? do you want them to rely on you for the rest of their lives? how are they going to learn to pick themselves up after failures?

there is a certain line that varies with different inidividuals and parents have to know where that line is.

ryantyz · #3 12-07-2006, 06:52 PM

I agree with seantzw.

Sometimes you must hold back and let the kid learn to pick himself/herself up from a fall to instill in them a sense of independence.

Imagine if the kid is so used to being picked up everytime from a fall, next time when you're not around and he/she falls they might not get up on their own.

StealthEagle · #4 12-07-2006, 06:53 PM

A common and interesting topic we are having here.

Who wants to see their children suffer? Everyone wishes the next generation has better life than before, therefore parents will provide as much as their children want.

Think about yourself as a parent living in a poor family. When your child wants something that most people have (a nice bag for example) but you couldn't afford it, how do you feel? I'm sure you feel sorry for your kid to be embaressed.

Overprotective?

Most of the time this term is used on rich, highly educated parents, who can afford maids to do every chores in the house, inculding bringing the kids to school.

When the child is being scolded or criticized by teachers (no matter how small matters are), they step right in and send complain letters containing 'fiery' words to MOE or the principal.

Some kids' future has been prepared nicely by the parents, they can be carefree and just focus on their studies and career. I have heard stories that maids acompany kids to... do chores and cook.

Sad is to say, in my point of view, by being overprotective and too kind, we are creating a generation of people who hold this idea that "someone will do it, why should I bother". Plus how far will they survive in a world with scoldings, critics when they are afraid to step out of the shell and prepare to suffer?

seantzw · #5 12-07-2006, 07:03 PM

there's an article in a reent reader's digest (I can't remember which month) that talked about this issue of overprotection. it was a very good read.. I'll try and find it and put some excerpts up..

zi_jing87 · #6 12-07-2006, 07:26 PM

last time one of my pri3 tutee's mom said i cannot give her son any tuition homework because he needs to have enough 'rest'.

dawdleham · #7 12-07-2006, 07:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by seantzw

Yes. Singaproean kids are generally overprotected. they have everything they want and need and their parents give in to them willingly without much of a fight.

what parents need to realise is that shielding their children from every single physical/mental harm or danger whether real or imagined isn't going to do them any good. how do you teach them independence then? do you want them to rely on you for the rest of their lives? how are they going to learn to pick themselves up after failures?

there is a certain line that varies with different inidividuals and parents have to know where that line is.

No doubt Singaporean kids are generally overprotected. However the question is why are the parents so readily giving in to their children nowadays? Why do they not realise that they are not helping their children grow by always carving the road ahead of them, making life look like a bed of roses?

I know of this friend who seems to be a slave to her primary school son. It seems as tho this little boy has firm belief that his mother will always provide and be there for him. Overprotected and spoilt i will say. The point i am trying to make is that these kids are now smarter, making them more capable of exploiting their parents weakness. This i believe will only make the next generation weaker unless parents see this mistake and take action against it.

However, what if the rot has set in already? To that, i can only pray for my friend's son and the many parents facing similar problems.

Cheers

seantzw · #8 12-07-2006, 08:25 PM

I believe it's because the parents don't want their children to 'suffer' like they did back then. it's noble and all, but as mentioned, not very effective parenting. yes we want to guard and protect our children from all the ills of the world and still hope that they turn out to be independent individuals who are successful in whatever they choose to pursuit. what irony. these parents read countless books, go for numerous seminars and know the latest facts about parenting. but look at their children now - they wouldn't survive a minute alone without their 'mommy and daddy' who will always be there for them. of course I'm not saying that all parents are like that, it just seems that a very large number of them are nowadays. the Chinese have a term for that - 溺(ni4)爱(ai4). which translates to 'over-loving'. (I think. my chinese isn't very good)

what if the rot has already set in? no need to ask that question, it's quite obvious that it already has. look at all the spoilt brats around now. it's frankly quite disgusting and disturbing to see such pathetic behaviour. parents have to realise that failing isn't so bad, cliched as it may sound.

but we have to be part of the solution and not the problem. so how can this stain be whitewashed?

soursop · #9 12-07-2006, 08:47 PM

That's how we end up with a generation of self-centred kids who think the world revolves around them. With a maid to pick up after them, carry their bags etc, they have never learned the word ' please' or ' thank you'....When someone do something for them, like keeping the lift door open etc, it is EXPECTED, no need for thanks...

mtky · #10 12-07-2006, 11:25 PM

Generally, I think local kids are rather over-protected, especially the rich kids. Their parents chauffeur them to their destinations, buy good food for them, don't let them do simple houseworks, reward them with gifts easily, etc

I have seen these around me. I guess is due to the fact that todays parents decide to have less children, and hence all their love are focused on them